(706): I’m having a staring contest with a raccoon.
(1-706): Where the hell are you
(706): He’s winning.

(706): I’m having a staring contest with a raccoon.

(1-706): Where the hell are you

(706): He’s winning.

(Source: textsfromdisney)


(757): At McDonald’s last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, “YOU MCFUCKED UP.”

(757): At McDonald’s last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, “YOU MCFUCKED UP.”

(Source: textsfromdisney)


(516): Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.

(516): Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.

(Source: textsfromdisney)


(773): I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.

(773): I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.

(Source: textsfromdisney)